i don’t feel i can talk to irl friends and family about gender stuff because people instantly jump on me like “so you’re not a guy anymore?” or “haha are you a girl now haha” or get angry at me and it’s like ?? can you fucking not, it’s annoying.
i get confused about my gender a lot. i identify as a man, but i’m comfortable having a vagina, just not comfortable with the top half.
sometimes it’s worse, sometimes its better. sometimes i am 100% male, sometimes, i’m no gender at all. overall i don’t know what i am, i don’t feel like “female” fits me at all, but male doesn’t always fit me. and it’s upsetting. i want a straight up answer for myself.
i just want to be something so i can deal with it. i hate feeling uncertain. nmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmn
though ever since i changed my name i feel a lot better and male pronouns im super comfortable with hhey
genders been really confusing me recently
i’ve been misgendered like three+ times the past week and it makes me really upset. i feel kind of bad. i kind of just want to give up and be like. yeah sure. whatever pronouns you want to call me.
i don’t want to care anymore.
i want to be a dude but i’m not sure if I’ll ever get that far. i’m scared of surgery. my chest is quite large. i’m so scared of something going wrong and no amount of reassuring words can revoke that fear.
i wish there was a way to not have any chest that doesn’t involve surgery which might ruin all feeling in my chest and binding bc binding hurts. it hurts a lot. I do it as safely as I can but it still hurts sometimes.
if i had no chest, I think I could pass
if i had no chest I think I’d at least be comfortable
i’m not like. upset right now. or depressed or anything. i just needed to air some stuff out. life is hard and gender is weird.
would it be rude of me to just. go by male pronouns for the rest of my life but never actually get surgery?
Would that be morally okay in other peoples opinions? Or would it be like. Taking the piss/asking too much? I’d still love to be able to take hormones and present even more as male but ??? just ??? surgery… I don’t think I could.
life is har d ?
talking about college
talking about gillfrond
positive!!! stuff!! aka takoto is in sappy positive mood and i just want to talk about how much i love things
gender really confuses me because
like most of the time I’m fairly sure I want to be male, but there’s times when I just… feel like I’m not a gender? or at least, I’m not male or female, just kind of, in the middle. I’m okay with most of my body bar my chest. I always dislike my chest, sometimes have a strong hatred and anxiety of it ye a h
but I know that I 100% am Luke, that is my name. Or will be, soonish. It’s who I am.
gender just. confuses me. because. I’m not okay being called she/her/girl/female/birth name/etc but I’m okay with being called a lesbian??? like I don’t get offended or upset or anxious (my family were like “o ur lesbian now” and i was like YEAH!!!!!! IT’S AMAZING!!!! and i felt fine and then they were like using female pronouns and i was like NO1!!!!! BAD!!! PELASE DON’T!)
idk life is weird. i’m weird. what is gender. why is gender. who is gender.
If I confine into you, tell you I’m gender dysphoric, and that I don’t want to be told I’m “too feminine to be male”.
follow it up again with
"But your legs are TOO feminine to be male"
I’m so bored of having no one to talk to/get advice from about my gender issues. Talking to other people helps me to figure more out about myself, but… I want to talk to someone who’s in a similar position to me. I love my friends, who put up with me, all the time, and all of my venting, but I feel I need to talk to someone who understands…
The youth group I went to where I live was full of nice people… but… it didn’t help too much. It was too chaotic. There wasn’t really anywhere to sit down and just relx and have a quiet conversation. I met some awesome people, and I felt really comfortable and happy… but it didn’t help me find out what I really want in terms of gender… or my life.
At the same time, I’m incredibly scared of digging deeper into myself. For multiple reason, both personal and to do with social stuff… ugh…
wow um jeez
I just kind of want to cut of most of my hair and wear my binder forever right now.
All of a sudden I’m having a lot of gender related feels.
and i really want a dick.
I wish it was possible to be reborn as a dude or just step into a machine or have an operation to make me 100% male cries
I’m having a WHAT THE FUCK GENDER AM I moment right now. Despite physically being a girl, actually thinking about buying women’s clothing feels foreign and strange to me- for the past… six or so years I’ve warn nothing but guys clothing (only wore skirts when I was forced to or to funerals).
The idea of wearing woman’s clothing is kind of overwhelming. That’s… kind of odd… really.
Besides only two of the tops I want are “women’s tops”, one of them is a man’s T-shirt.
Maybe it’s time I went to bed. Or played FF6 in bed.